Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
