My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
