I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
