i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
