so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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