Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
