Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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