So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize