ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
