Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
