I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
