It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
