Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
