It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
