my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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