i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
