i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
