Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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