He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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