I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
