Your dad touched me again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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