drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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