don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
