you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
