I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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