I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
