dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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