while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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