Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
