I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
