Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize