Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
