I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.