ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
