you guys were way drunker than both of me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This house was built for laser tag.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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