nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
