i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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