we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Alive.
So much puke
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
