Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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