make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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