So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They have beer where we have blood.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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