Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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