yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
