i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
