apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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