Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
