The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
