3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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