Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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