You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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