Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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