Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
