id be glad to
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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