I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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