Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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