On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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