so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
