I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ladies don't puke and tell
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
