Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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